Let Me Go
by raecat
Summary: Harry has finally had enough and commits suicide. All those left gather for the reading of the will and final thoughts of Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. Not epilogue compliant. EWE
1. Let Me Go

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any character in this story. Poo.**

_Summary – Harry has finally had enough and commits suicide. All those left gather for the reading of the will and final thoughts of Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. Not epilogue compliant._

_Author's Note – I was thinking about Harry Potter while listening to the Three Doors Down song 'Let Me Go' and I felt that it fit really well. Go listen!_

_Author's Note Pt 2 – I am editing this chapter slightly, with a few minor corrections and stuff I realized later that I forgot to add. Also, someone suggested I do another chapter with reactions, which I am thinking about. Keep an eye open for that! Oh also, I changed Harry's legal name: I thought he needed something more pureblood & wizardish. Also, before you complain – Harry is a nickname for Henry._

**Let Me Go**

Griphook the Goblin stood at the front of the Great Hall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The school had been repaired following the Battle of Hogwarts and was now full of Harry's friends and admirers, all waiting to hear the final thoughts of the Boy-Who-No-Longer-Lived.

Griphook cleared his throat and began reading, his waspy voice carrying over the crowd. "The following will has been left by one Henry Jamison Potter, to be read on the event of his death. All it contains shall be followed, by magical law, and cannot be argued against."

"I, Henry Jamison Potter, of unsound mind and sound body, have decided to take my own life. I know that most of you will not understand, so I will explain my actions, because I must. To no one am I just Harry. I have always been Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, Dumbledore's Man, the Chosen One, the Savior of the Wizarding World and the Defeater of Voldemort. It was a life of fame, fortune, and fear. A life I never wanted. A life that was preset before I could walk, a life that was planned for me. I never wanted to be a weapon, to fight the greatest evil known to wizarding kind.

Let me tell you about myself, if you are still even listening. I only wish Professors Dumbledore and Snape could hear this. No one in the room knows all of this and most of you that know anything will consider my hardships as "defining" and "character building". I was orphaned early and raised by my only living relatives: a bigoted uncle, jealous aunt, and spoiled cousin. I was a slave to them, treated worse than the worst house elf. For ten long years I lived in a cupboard under the stairs. They told me that my parents died in a car crash and were drunk good-for-nothings. They tried to squash the magic right out of me and punished me whenever something odd happened. I was starved and beaten. Often. As I grew older and my cousin more violent, I became his favorite punching bag. They tried to prevent me from attending Hogwarts and locked me in a room with bars on the window during the summers. My meals were delivered via a cat-flap in the door.

Arriving at Hogwarts, I was suddenly popular and wonderful, a hero that I never knew I was. Everyone loved me and I was actually good at something for once. But as I grew in Hogwarts, I learned that no one really knew me. They knew OF me, like I was King Arthur returning to Britain. I was befriended, mentored, loved. I was turned into the perfect Golden Boy and Hero of the Resistance against evil.

I never wanted the attention. Or the fame. I wanted true friends, to be left alone in the background. That was how I survived the years with my so-called family. By hiding in the background. Here, all I wanted was to be normal. To worry about my school work, and talk about the cute girl in our Herbology class. But I rarely had time for school work, and when I did I never applied myself. What is the point of O.W.L.S. or N.E.W.T.S. when I will either not live long enough or be hired for my name anyway? I never really was able to learn about love, to have crushes on fellow students, when it was love that saved me that fateful night. Instead I studied how to fight and I found love on the battlefield amongst death. I never wanted this life. Let someone else take the glory. Certainly someone else wants it.

But it was not to be. Constant battles with Voldemort, threats to myself and my friends, took precedence over trying to hold on to any shreds of a childhood I had left. I was not raised; I was prepared for the final battle. And now that the final battle has come and gone and I am still alive, I look around and see that I have still lost. I have not gained anything. I have murdered, I have lost family and friends that I held dear to me. I regained my godfather, Sirius Black and found him to be an innocent man. Even that was taken away from me yet again. I sit here now, an empty shell, with no purpose and no life to return to. I have already been offered positions with the Aurors and as a Professor at Hogwarts, and to even take the position of Minister for Magic. To once again stand as the figure-head of this great wizarding world.

Who the hell am I kidding. I never wanted it. I lay awake at night suffering from nightmares, reliving each death over and over. Faint memories of my parents' deaths, mostly screams. Cedric in the graveyard. Sirius falling slowly through the veil at the Ministry. Albus Dumbledore. Hedwig and Dobby. The students of Hogwarts in the final battle. Fred Weasley, Colin Creevey, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Severus Snape. Nightmares of the scenes I witnessed in Voldemort's mind. The inhumane acts I suffered at the hands of Death Eaters, Professors, and even high-ranking Ministry Officials.

Those muggle psychiatrists say that I have post-traumatic stress disorder. I also suffer from an identity crisis and suffer from being raised in an abusive household. I will never recover enough to even pretend to live a normal life. I cannot be used as a tool or symbol anymore. I am broken.

I wish to rejoin my family.

Ginny, you had a crush on me from the moment you met me, before even, but here now I question who you really loved. For how could you love me from the start, when we had never met? You loved the part of me that was famous. You never even got to know the real me. Everyone said we were perfect together but how would we know? I was your fairy-tale hero, but you never were one to play the damsel in distress.

Ron, how much of a best friend were you when you were always jealous of me? You became popular by association, yet you hated me for being popular. You never really got to know me either, did you? You were a good friend Ron, but I can never have what you have, what I always wanted. All we wanted was to be happy in the other's shoes.

Hermione, you are an insufferable know-it-all, but I love you for it. You were probably the only one who tried at least. Although you were too busy telling me to study and not break the rules, you knew me the best. Maybe it was because you were a girl and you picked up these emotions even I didn't understand?

Neville, Dean, and Seamus, you guys were wonderful dorm-mates, even when we had our differences. I am glad to have known you and I miss hearing your comforting breathing every night.

Luna, I saw something in Surrey that might be a Green Dingleblat. Best of luck hunting. I love you.

To my DA members and fellow fighters, I truly appreciate everything you did for me. I wish you all the best.

Molly, Arthur, you were like the family I never had. Thank you.

George, I am sorry, I truly am. I understand how you feel, how the loss eats you up inside. While I do not condone you the use of this cowards way out, I cannot begrudge you of it either. Fred and I will be together watching over you, and we will see you when you are ready. Remember, there are those here who still love you, if you can make it.

The following people each will receive 2000 Galleons from the Potter vault: Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnegan, Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley and George Weasley.

To Teddy Lupin, my godson, I leave the Potter vaults and all associated lands, titles, etc. along with my broom, invisibility cloak, and Marauders' Map. Andromeda Tonks will act as guardian until Teddy is of age. You were my last reason for staying, but I cannot be good to you and live a lie to cover my pain. In time, I may not even be safe for you to be around. Better to go now, when it will hurt less. I will always love you. You are the last Marauder now.

To Draco Malfoy. I pass along all vaults, titles, properties, etc related to the Black name that I received from Sirus Black. They are yours by familial right.

Draco, I know that we started off on the wrong foot, but I feel that, in the end, you were the person who knew me best. You knew just what to say to get under my skin and the let me yell and fight with you to release my tension. You studied me, knew my moods and mannerisms better than anyone. While it is slightly unnerving, I appreciate the interest you have shown in me, even with ulterior motives. Amazingly, my worst enemy in school turned out to be the best person for me. I am glad that you and yours are safe. Please stay that way.

Bury me, with my wand, in Godric's Hollow."


	2. Those We Leave Behind

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any character in this story. Poo.**

_Summary – Harry has finally had enough and commits suicide. All those left gather for the reading of the will and final thoughts of Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. Not epilogue compliant._

_Author's Note – So I decided to take up the challenge of writing an accompanying chapter, with the reactions of others. Let me what you think of it! Maybe some Draco/Harry??_

**Let Me Go  
****Those We Leave Behind**

Griphook stepped down from the dais, heading towards Draco and his mother. As the others began to rise and talk around them, Griphook spoke softly to the two. "Mr. Potter has left this letter for you both as well. Have a pleasant day." With a short bow, Griphook left them with the folded parchment.

Draco stared at the wax seal, before slipping his finger under to break it. Unfolding the letter, he read aloud to his mother in a clear, but soft voice.

_Lady Malfoy & Draco,_

_I hope this letter finds you well, although I know the circumstances in which you are reading it. I wanted to prepare you for the missives you will receive. I have taken the liberty to provide testimony and pensieve memories , courtesy of myself and the late Albus Dumbledore, regarding the roles of you both, as well as one Severus Snape, one Sirius Black, and one Regelus Black in both wars. I hope that these will soften any blows from the Ministry, if not release you of all wrong-doings. I know that you both were placed in situations beyond your control and yet you still did all you could to help me in this fight. I hope that you both will be free and safe. Unfortunetly, there is little I can do for Lord Malfoy. I have chosen not to speak against him or press any charges, but I am unsure how far my silence on his behalf will go._

_Lady Malfoy, I understand that times will be difficult for you still and that I have not had the pleasure of your extended company, however I know you to be a strong woman. The Black blood runs true in you. My one request is to at least attempt to reconcile with your sister. Andromeda and Teddy both, I am sure, could only benefit from your presence in their lives._

_Draco, I know that by now, you have heard what I wrote in the will. Rest assured it was the truth. You, of anyone else in this world, knew me the best. You knew things about me I barely knew or admitted to myself. I know that you did this to hinder me, to make fun. But, in a twisted way, I am flattered that I was worth that much of your attention. I can only hope that something in your discoveries made me worth the help you have shown. You are free now Draco, and I hope to the heavens that you use that freedom for yourself. Remember, a Malfoy bows to no-one._

_I wish you both the best._

_Sincerely,_

_Henry Jamison Potter_

_P.S. Please tell Parkinson that I bear her no ill will._

Narcissa Malfoy was a proud, pureblood woman. But even she knew truth and good advice when she heard it. She pressed a gentle kiss to her son's cheek and headed off towards her sister, embracing the woman in a shy hug. Andromeda, for the most part, seemed pleased with her sister's presence. Both women cooed over the toddler now in Narcissa's arms.

Draco stared at the loopy signature on the paper. After all this, he had slipped into a state of shock. He did not move, however, until a lock of long blonde hair swung into his presence. Draco visibly recoiled, as if the girl before him had struck him. Luna Lovegood only smiled as she stood next to him. "Draco, you are well I hope?"

He could only nod. He was terrified of this girl. He had kept her, a pureblood witch, prisoner in his own home. And yet here she was, smile full of peace, hair glowing like moonshine.

"Come Draco, would you like to travel to Surrey and hunt Harry's elusive Green Dingleblat with me?" Her laugh danced around him. He shook his head, eyes wide. Draco suddenly found himself with an armful of the girl, her voice soft in his ear. "Those that matter have forgiven. Now it is your turn to forgive yourself." She turned away from him, soft laugher floating around.

Draco sat heavily on the bench. He had to admit, grudgingly mind you, that Harry really was a great guy. He helped anyone who needed it, whether they wanted it or not. And those like Draco and his family, who needed it but certainly didn't deserve it. Harry had been correct in his assumption that Draco knew him best. Draco had watched the young man for 7 years. The reasons often changed, but Draco always watched. Harry was a study in dimensions and emotions, to be sure. But he really was interesting.

Draco watched the others now. Those that had befriended and loved the Boy-Who-Lived, and those that were, as they say, along for the ride. He looked to the Weasleys first. Molly was currently sobbing into Arthur's chest, a parchment clutched in his hand. Draco assumed it was from Harry as well. And knowing him, it probably told them how much he thought of them as family and cherished their time together. And, knowing him, how sorry he was for all the trouble he caused. Harry always had a huge guilt complex. The girl Weasley and Granger were both crying. Weasel and 2 of his brothers were trying to comfort them. Fleur, the Triwizard Veela girl was crying as well, holding a baby. She was being comforted by her Weasley husband. The living twin had slipped away at some point. He was the only one who Draco felt pity for. Magical twins shared a rare connection and George most likely felt that half his magic and soul were missing. Draco assumed he would die soon.

His gaze continued on. Longbottom was reading another letter from Harry, lips pressed in a thin line. Luna was hovering near him. Draco could see other Gryffindors around, as well as some Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Some were crying, many were shocked at both Harry's words and ultimate action.

Draco himself had not been surprised. Harry had been suffering ever since Draco had the pleasure of his company in Madam Malkin's that day so long ago. The boy had always seemed tortured and tormented. He acted the hero and completed his tasks, but Draco had always been able to see the pain below the surface, both from his actions and from outside forces.

Draco stood, pocketing the letter from Harry. He would heed the advice the young man had given his mother. Family was important. Draco had never had the pleasure of meeting his Aunt Andromeda. He turned towards her now. His mother was still holding the smiling toddler, Teddy, he reminded himself. A very plebian name, considering the boy's mother was called Nymphadora. Draco made his way over. He could see parchment in Andromeda's pocket; letters from Harry to both her and Teddy. Teddy turned to smile at the new face, hair shifting to match Draco's in color. Draco stared into the boy's Avada-Kadavra-green eyes; Harry's eyes. Draco knew Harry would live on in Teddy. And that Draco would help keep his memory alive in the boy.

It was the least he could do to repay Harry.

Anything to look into those eyes once more.


End file.
